Avatar - the new Fern Gully movie?

I finally watched Avatar last night. What a visual treat it is - the colours, the animation, the conceptualisation of all the living, breathing creatures and plants. I must say, when James Cameron makes a movie, he makes it worth one's while. But for the most part, i couldn't help wondering if he'd borrowed ideas from Fern Gully-The Last Rainforest.

Here's why.

In Avatar, Jake's a human who gets his own Avatar and becomes one with the N'avi. His purpose is to win their trust and get them to leave their land, but he falls in love with the people and decides to change sides while his superiors think he's betrayed humanity.

In Fern Gully, Zak-one of the workers out to destroy the Fern Gully rainforest, gets shrunk into a thumb-sized creature by the daughter of the fairy people's king. Of course, he 'learns their ways', falls in love and finally turns against the rest of his team to help save the forest.

In Avatar, Pandora is as much its people as the people are Pandora. The bond between nature and humanity is strong, solid and magical. Same with the fairy people of Fern Gully.

In Avatar, they have the HomeTree and the Tree of Souls - their most sacred space. In Fern Gully, they have their home tree and a sacred tree that's the lifeblood of the forest, the source of all creation in the forest.

Avatar has it Eywa, and Fern Gully has its Magi.

And there's so much more that's similar. The seeds of Eywa, paths lighting up when they walk on it, the love triangle...

And, apparently, i'm not the only one who thinks this way. There's plenty of videos on Youtube that has mash-ups of the movies and stuff.

I'm not complaining, though. I love Fern Gully, and i really liked Avatar for its scale and elaborateness. So what if Cameron took off from the 1992 award-winning movie? I think he added a lot more life to it.

2010 - The Year of Estrangements.

Two of my close friends got married. And they didn't invite me.

Another got engaged. I read about it on Facebook.

A friend i've known for a while passed a judgement of a sort on my attitude towards an ex simply because she drew conclusions of her own out of my interaction with him, and now she's moving away from me too.

Must mean that something's terribly wrong with me. No?

Wowee.

The line is thin between a selfish act

And the things you do to keep yourself intact.

- Jon Brion

And so i begin my training.

Salsa Congress is happening. Yes, yes, it's happening in Bangalore and that's not the bigger news.

Salsa Congress is happening, and i'm going to be a part of it!

How the convincing of the parents and all that happened, don't ask. But i will be performing there, and attending workshops, and dancing to the tunes of the world's best, and partying and ohmygodi'msoexcited!

A month and a half from now, i will take the stage with eight beautiful ladies and shimmy to the tunes of Salaam Salaam. And i will be slimmer, sexier, and way more everything-er. (So Shakira, you're getting serious competition honey.)

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed so nothing goes wrong. You know how these things are, right. Just when you want something to happen really really badly, life gives you a googly and makes them really really bad.

Boy? Oh Boy.

It's been seven months since the breakup. And i'm still not able to get him out of my head. This, despite the fact that there have been alternatives available. Truth is, i think my feelings for boy run deeper than i thought they did, so much so that i'm not interested in the alternatives.

Since his last mail mentioned that he wasn't taking my calls or responding to my messages because it made moving on easier for both, i was worried about what he might make of me wanting to get in touch again. After months of stressing over it, i decided to shut out all the voices in my head and mail him. So i did, a week back.

I poured my heart out, i can tell you that. Told him exactly how i felt, and that i wanted to see where the relationship would go.

Post the mail, i felt an immense sense of relief. And then started a different kind of worry - what would his reply be?

Two days later, he sent me a message - that he read my mail, and would write to me soon. He was putting in long hours at work every day, and was sorry about taking so much time.

So, i'm still waiting for the verdict. Will it be, won't it be. I don't know, can't say.

But i am SO keeping my fingers crossed.

Manipulating life for a reason.

Sometimes, i think about the first time i indulged with OH family and i always, always get confused about whether it was 2004 or 2005. (When i checked with ex, he said it was 2006.) Anyhow, it's been a handful of years now.

I knew i wanted to taste all of it once, to know what it felt like; to know what it was that got people so hooked on it; and to know what league of high it belonged to. Today i can, with mixed feelings of pride and guilt, say that i have tasted most of all there is. And i know what i like/love/dislike.

It's the same policy i follow with almost everything else: that i have to try everything once to know what it's like. It's what has led me to explore cuisines, sea food, meat, places, indulge in adventures, travel to different places under different, unique circumstances; and to just live it up. Needless to say, i love every minute of it.

But it wasn't always like this. While i was open to some things earlier, i wasn't okay with most. That openness came when i decided that i wanted to be the one to know what the younger generations of my family were up to when they tried doing the things or telling the lies that i have done/told, be it my cousins or my kids (someday).

And so, last evening i took two of my cousins to UB City to show them the glamourous side of Bangalore life. The Sunday Crowd hasn't spared that place either - from being nice and hep, it's gone to being a slightly uppity version of Cubbon Park. Junta from all over comes in, takes pictures of the ceiling, walks into Louis Vuitton, gawks at the price tags and takes some more pictures, gets wet in the water from the fountain in half naked states. In short, UB City has turned quite Ugh-ly.

I took the cousins to Shiro to show the Buddha head. They were amazed. The waiter hands us the drinks menu, and my 16-year old cousin turns to me to ask "Is there anything in here for us to drink?" I smile and order for mocktails. Pineapple for both of them, and mine i leave to the waiter to concoct. Theirs arrived in Martini glasses. Immediately, i took a sip from my cousin's, called the waiter and asked him if he was sure they were mocktails. Yes, he said. They weren't cocktails. Weird, i thought i tasted something more in hers. Or maybe it was just the cinnamon. "Is it safe for us to drink?", asked the 16-year old again.

The younger one who's 14 years old looked on fascinatedly at the young boys at the other table sipping on Tuborg. Curious, she was. Even about the bar counter in the outdoor section. When she asked me, i told her that that was the place where 'other' beverages were served. She didn't understand, but she didn't push me for an answer either. The older one then turned to me, and said, "This is the first time we've come to a place with a live bar counter". Those were her exact words - live bar counter.

They asked me if i had eaten there, and what i had eaten. Have you eaten shark? Whale? Octopus? Seal? No, but i have eaten mussels and crab and squid, but not here, i replied. With each name that i rattled off, i found them choking on both, laughter and a bit of the mocktail they had sipped.

And so the conversation went on, alternating between grilling me about things i do/eat/learn and enquiring about what people at the other tables were doing. It was a totally new experience for them, and i'm glad i took them there.

On the way back, i was thinking about how my Aunt would react to their evening. I was fully prepared for an earful from her for taking them to 'those kind of places', but i also realised that all these years of my trying out things has been for this precise reason: so i can be fully equipped to understand, protect and guide them when their experiences/experiments go awry in the future. Better i, than a bunch of teenagers, who initiate them into things they themselves have no knowledge of.

I ended the evening with a satisfied smile - seems like all those years of black sheepness and debauchery are finally paying off.

A year of physical injuries, and then some.

So, i've been on an injury spree these last couple of months.

First, i fell on my tush real hard while running across a highly polished marble floor. This was in March.

In April, i burned my hair on Good Friday. Followed by a cigarette burn on my wrist at Athena on Saturday. And another almost two weeks later at Cirrus, on the same spot as the previous burn.

Yesterday, i woke up with a toe sprain. Weird, right? It's true, though. I don't know how it happened but my toe was nice and swollen and stiff as a dead cat. Using that as a reason to work from home sounds lame, but only a fellow toe sprain sufferer can sympathise and agree on how painful it can be.

And then, when i was sitting in the conference room at work this morning, i banged my knee real hard against some metallic object hidden under the table. I can feel and hear the squeaks everytime i rest my hand on my knee cap.

I don't know what message you're giving me, God. But please, can you find a less painful way of doing it?

'Supdates.

1. Hyderabad came down to Bangalore and together, we had a blast.

2. Weekend of Athena, i went mad over Pitbull. I stamped my feet, rapid-jogged on the spot in sheer excitement and screamed my lungs out like a teenage groupie when the DJ played Calle Ocho.

3. I start Spanish classes this Saturday. Verrry excited.

4. I rode to office on the Activa. Twice. Once, even went to Indiranagar 100 Feet Road and back in peak traffic. With the laptop in the front, at my feet. Not comfortable, but i did it without incident. Yippee!

5. Can't say the same for my car. Another accident today. Poor Red, he's gone through way too much. He deserves a break, and some pampering.

6. I burned my hair over the flame of the stove while trying to light a nicotine stick for a friend. Now i have an ugly fringe close to my forehead. No, i won't wear a wig.

7. I'm gymming! Yeaaaaaaay!

8. May 8th is the deadline to loose weight. Ten kilos of it. I don't think i'm even close.

9. Lots of long drives have been happening. Long drives, and good music.

10. I got closure from Boy.

11. We moved houses. Bigger, brighter, roomier. And a terrace all our own. And plennnty of storage space.

12. The one time we get tickets for the IPL, a bomb has to go off in the stadium.

13. Puneet Raj Kumar reminds me of Boy. Very weird, but i can't seem to shake the association off.

14. Testing times at office. Must pull up my socks, or whatever.

Apparently, not everything that spills forth from my mouth is verbal garbage.

Lately, i've been doing a lot of talking. Not at work, but outside of it. And not the oratory, but the advisory types. And it's not dotted with Assholes, sprinkled with Maaki and Bhenki gaalis, or even doused in a generous dressing of Fucks.

I've been spewing so much gyaan and emotionally intelligent sounding stuff that sometimes i think back and am amazed at how i came up with all that junk. It's true, life can teach you a lot of things and all that, but it's got to be one heck of an experience after another to be able to dole out so much, so much, so so much to people, helping them get their lives back on track. And i can assure you, my experiences are the same as those that happen to the average person - nothing out of the usual. (Wait, maybe a fling in the late teens with a going-through-divorce guy 19 years older might just about qualify as extraordinary.)

What must be different, is what i picked up from those experiences. Because suddenly, when i talk these days, i can see ears pricking up, waiting to trap every word i utter and eagerly trasnfer it to that part of the brain responsible for cognisance. And trust you me, they're heeding my words of wisdom.
Example 1: Friend going through shit with some guy she's totally in love with but who's married and has been caught by his wife chatting steamily with said friend. Shit has hit the roof blah blah blah, and now she blames herself for everything going wrong. Long story short, the point at which this whole mess is, she's not responsible for. And i told her that. And i fed her stuff to tell him. And she did. And now, everything's fine. Except for her broken heart, but hey, that's not something her intact self-respect can't help overcome.
Example 2: Yet another marriage gone terribly wrong - no love left between the two, guy pretending that nothing's wrong, girl freaking out that her parents will withdraw their support for her decision of ending it and all that. More than two hours of convincing later, i find her to be an emotionally stronger person who will only take so much from people and show her middle finger the rest of the way.

And so the stories go. Another friend who's sort of seeing this guy and cannot for the life of her hide anything from him, tells me that he asks for my opinion (yes! as in, "So, what does Nabila think about that?") on almost all things pertaining to them.

I can't decide on whether this is a good thing or not. Somehow, typing it all out makes me sound like an old maiden who can't do any better for her life than dish out stuff for people in need. And then i think that's it not true, because i can be ruthless and brutally honest. Correction, i am ruthless and brutally honest. And most times, i guess that's what intelligent people in trouble want to hear. They want to be shaken out of their stupor of helplessness and self-pity, given a sound smack on their tushes and pointed in the right direction.

*Sigh*

Whatever. Maybe i should just come with a Statutory Warning label:

CAUTION!

SUGAR-COATED ASPIRIN

Prescription Medicine Only.

To be consumed with discretion.

(P.S: A friend actually labelled me that 11 years ago. Seems like this thing goes way back into the past.)

Making sense of Life.

Everyone around me is going through major upheavals in their respective lives. I'm just stressing out on Boy and where he is and all that, which is a speck of trouble compared to the oceans of dirt my friends and family are having to fight.

Yesterday, when one friend's problems collided into each other head-on and she couldn't take it, i saw her break down like i have never before. And it struck me then: what's the purpose of life anyway? We are all born, and then we all die. Each and every one of us, we all meet the same end. So why, if our patterns are so set, do we have to deal with so much shit? Why experience love, lust, endure longing, heartbreaks, pain, deaths, sarcasm, politics - the works? What's the purpose of it all? Nothing. Zero.

And that's what i thought till another thing dawned on me - that we are all, after we die, going to be judged on how we have lived, and how we have dealt with whatever comes our way. And that's the bloody reason why we go through so many things in our life - because it will help God judge us, catalogue us. Like being judged when we were alive wasn't enough. And i think that's just sad, because what happens once we are judged and are sent our way, to either Heaven or Hell? What then? It still makes life purposeless, doesn't it? What happens to 'man being the most complex living being' and 'the remarkable evolution of thought and form and intellect and skill'? What happens to our pointless existence?

It's all just one big game, i tell you. One big extravaganza. Shakespeare was not a floosy after all. All the world's a stage, and all the men and women mere players...

Catching up on movies.

Now that the laptop has become a part of my everyday life, i'm watching movies with a vengeance. The DVD player's fixed as well, but parents are monopolising it with their back-to-back serials and reality shows. So anyway, here's a list of the ones i've managed to see so far:

Paranormal Activity - watched it just yesterday. V put me in mortal fear of the movie by just narrating the story, and the scary bits, months ago. So i was sort of disappointed when i finally saw it and it didn't seem so terrifying. Except maybe that bit where she gets dragged out of bed.
The disappointment could've been because i watched the movie... in broad daylight. (I'm a wuss, yeah!)

Up in the air - poetic justice of sorts. I liked the movie, liked the way it was made. Although when he lands in Chicago, did most people instinctively know like i did that she would be married? (Oh, spoiler alert.)

Hurt Locker - I can understand why it won Best Movie, but seriously, do we have to overdo the 'American soldiers only fight because they have to, and deep inside are really kid-loving, death-respecting individuals' bit? And by the way, i still don't know how the movie ends. The DVD refused to play all the way.

Julie & Julia - Loved it. It's real, traverses time and stitches it together beautifully, and it's got food. What more could one ask for? Oh, and i hate, hate Meryl Streep's accent in the movie.

The Ugly Truth - I watched it a second time. And i still like it just as much.

Mirrors - Iranian. Simple. Sweet.

Ratatouille - Aww. And food again!

And that's that so far. Lined up for tomorrow are The Blind Side, Defiance (yeah, after dreaming of The Craig this morning i gotta see it quick), The Bucket List, A Serious Man and maybe My Sister's Keeper. Or 500 Days of Summer. Hmm...

No, i still haven't watched Avatar.

It's not fair.

Not fair that when i travel the roads at night with the windows down and soft music playing in the background, the street lamps casting their yellow glow over everything they touch, that i remember you. Remember us. It's not fair that i have to live with these memories day in and day out, while you... I don't even know what you're up to. Don't know if you think the same things, feel the same way when the ambience around you plays out the same parody.

It's not fair that it ended. Because there hasn't been a moment, right up to this very one, when i haven't thought of you. Today was a good day, though - i didn't let my mind stray in your direction till late in the evening.

So. Wherever you are. I miss you. And i wish for something more than just that.

My latest obsession? And i mean, my latest?

Armando Christian Perez. Aka Pitbull. The one who gave the dancing world numbers like I know you want me and Krazy. The firs time i saw him was in his video a couple of months back. I found him - how does one say it - cocky? But in a nice way. Attitude, that's what i liked about him.

But today was different. Some psycho little neuron in my brain fired up, and i found myself lusting after him so bad that i kept him on loop on youtube all day, behaving like a madwoman at my desk. He's what i want my dreamboat (Thank you, Archies) to look like.

(Please hold on while i clean up the drool all over the laptop.)

I don't know what it is that gets me so worked up about him, but dear God in Heaven, everytime i lay my eyes on him i lick my lips like a bloody cat who's just spotted a goldfish bowl with a really wide rim. I haven't had this sort of obsession since Aladdin! (That was in 7th Grade people.)

Anyway, after all these years, my softboard at work is going to have his picture soon. Because that's how much i'm in love with him right now.

'Sup-dates.

1. I've been gymming for exactly two days, and have lost exactly 300 grams. There are 35,000 grams to go.
2. A bar of Bournville Hazelnut sat on my desk all morning. To celebrate its sad demise a couple of hours back, i will put in 15 minutes extra on the treadmill.
3. Swimming classes in March at Jayamahal Palace. By then, i hopefully will have a little more confidence to wear a swimsuit.
4. I have received three postcards from Victoria, Melbourne. Two on 18th - one with a kangaroo drawn on it, and another with a couple looking into a sunset that's (ahem) heart-shaped. Sweet corny soup. One yesterday with aboriginal art and poetic verses on it. Father dear a.k.a Mister Curiosity couldn't resist asking me who they were from. Finally!
5. Life is good. For now.
6. Chequered trousers in dark brown doing the rounds on Milan catwalks. Will be mine this weekend, come hell or high water.
7. Red has successfully (and maybe a little groaningly?) completed 30,000 kilometres. All of 50 kilometres were put on his metre by me.
8. I'm still waiting for my Driver's License.
9. I still haven't applied for my passport.
10. I drank three ants today. They were afloat in my water bottle and i just decided to put them out of their misery. Hail Formic Acid!
11. We went desk-hunting in office, and marked our places with less-unconventional methods than peeing and spitting on our territory. (Even though we were quite tempted to try those means.)
12. I rediscovered Fern Gully-The Last Rain Forest last night, and realised that some memories are best left as just that: memories.
13. I don't miss advertising life all that much.
14. I think i'm ready for Hampi in March. Anybody know if the Hampi Festival's on then?
15. I louwes my Nikon D3000. Really, really louwes it. Soon, i will hold exhibition of pictures.
16. I miss boy lots.
17. Bizarre dreams are the flavour of the season.
18. Nights in Bangalore are yummy this summer.
19. I cried BUCKETS for My Name Is Khan.
20. Still haven't watched Avatar. And Kaminey. And 3 Idiots (well, at least not all of it). I did watch Ratatouille though. Oh, and Veer. And some Tamizh movie on my way to Chennai.
21. Short story plots are in place. The stories are not.
22. I've been told that i have too many friends. Oh well.
23. This is my 250th post.

Heppy Bhelantine's and all that.

Two pleasure weekends with a work week in between can be quite draining, even if the work week amounts to nothing.

The weekend of Sixth, i was on a bus to Gokarna. A destination i had planned on as part of my holidaying back in the early 2000s - mostly as a clandestine getaway with an ex - that never quite materialised. Of course, because the planning with ex always left me tense and anxious about making it safely to the place, this time when i finally did manage to go there, i was faced with an unpredicted anxiety attack. It just didn't seem right to travel there without him. Once i had figured out that it was because of all those years of agonising over to-go or not-to-go, i was fine.

And Gokarna itself helped.

I think the place beats Goa hands-down. I love it. Quiet, unhyped, un-Indian (a bliss on beaches) and very, very peaceful. The water was crystal clear, with shallows extending to at least half a kilometre so one could venture in without drowning. Think, i even managed to take my Nikon D3000 into the water! We stayed at Kudle, which i would say is the better off of the two beaches, the other being Om.

Debauchery happened over the two days, of course. Lots of food, sending (an incredile 18 in less than 24 hours!) and watermelon juice.

Last weekend, i was in Chennai. A reunion of the Three Musketeers after six and a half years. The first time since college that we were together again. It started off on a fairly sour note because i happened to land up pretty late, but then it was all okay. Sunday, we drove to Mahabs - the place where it all started. We swayed by the sea, had an average breakfast at the Radisson and then indulged in some fishy business - the fish pedicure.

Interesting experience, that. Initially, it seems like the fish are bent on tickling you to death, then sometimes it seems like they're bent on chewing off your toe, but otherwise they're okay. The session's pretty enjoyable - almost like dipping your feet in a pool of water with a thousand little electrical discharges in it that do you more good than harm.

This weekend, i hope to be at peace. NO travelling for a while. I want to be a home bird - just nestle into the comforting warmth of endless mess and TV, read a little, write a little, watch lots of movies on the laptop... Maybe i'll even put the sewing machine to good use and get started on the fabric i picked up for cushion covers in Chennai.

Yes. I is domesticated. Like the cow.

Reliving the Yeehaw days on Yahoo.

So, this account of mine has been buried for a while. When i get in the mood, though, i check it only to find tons of FB notifications and e-mails from A.

A few minutes back, while trying to locate an e-mail ID, i stumbled on a list of mails. THE mails. Some i had read a few times in the past, and some others i was rediscovering after years of their undemanding silence.

It felt good to read them. Brought back all that love and affection, perhaps a hint of the pain and frustration as well. I sat back and wondered, where has all that love gone? And i realise, it's not gone anywhere. It's there, right under my nose. Only now, it's morphed into a different being altogether with that feeling still at its core. But i recognise it still, and i'm sure he does too.

All those years back, i thought it would be difficult to go back to the beginning. It was. But now that i have managed to do it, i like it so much better there that i don't want to move away from that place of happiness. I'm at peace with me - a feeling that took a lot of working at.

So yes, these mails are buried in the abyss of yahoomail. But then, isn't that where one finds and sinks all of one's treasures, in an abyss? Isn't that what makes it so coveted and so tempting, what drives us crazy till we find it and satisfied once we possess it?

Besides, they came from The Mollusc. So to The Mollusc's residence they will go. (Smug grin.)

It's 3:30 a.m in the morning and i am wide awake.

Is this what turning 27 is supposed to be like? Cause i sure as hell seem to suddenly be carrying very heavy thoughts in my head - a load that, when added to my heaving self, is a bit much to manage round-the-clock.

I see a disturbing movie, and i think i don't ever wanna have kids just so i don't ruin their lives by not doing the right thing, giving them the 'right' upbringing. I go partying on a Saturday night and i feel like an ungainly hag with no sense of style who just wants to let loose with some average standard shakes of arm-leg tangles. I visit relatives and think, yeah, maybe i need to consider marriage. I visit friends and think, okay maybe not. I stay out of home most of the time in the fear that i'm running out of life and need to make the most of it while i can. I apply for post-grad courses because hey, i feel the need to reassure myself that i am as intelligent as i used to be. I keep pushing visits to the doctor. I try to get out of bed early every day, only to fall back because my eyes refuse to respond to the signals my brain's sending. I worry about wrinkles and growing frail and taking pills to fortify my beginning-to-creak bones.

Really, is this what it's like to be 27? Because if it is, by God, i have a raw deal on my hands and want none of it.

Mixture.

What have i been up to since New Years?

Well, i spent the 31st and 1st in Chennai with a bunch of friends, came back to Bangalore to spend a weekend at K's, then another at G's.

Finished a couple of pending tasks, fretted a lot about my missing marks cards and degree certificate (as an aside, Mom found it this morning, buried under her lesson plans from yesteryears; now i have to keep my part of the deal with God and do what i promised to do), made inquiries about yoga classes, swimming classes and gyms, finished other mundane jobs.

Spent two days as a beggar, with just 75 bucks in my bank account.

Maxed out my credit card after blowing up 10,000 bucks on sarees.

Have been shuttling between Hyderabad and Gulbarga since the 16th, catching up with aunts and relatives i thought were now folklore.

Spent the first birthday away from home. I'm officially 27 now - the idea that i'm growing steadily old hasn't hit as fast as the fact that there are so many things to do and see while there's so little time for all of it; that every moment, starting now, is precious and is going to be dedicated to living, to capturing the richness of life's joys and the relationships that it helps us create.

And a whole lot of other such philosophical BS.

Brat Pack threw me a faux surprise birthday party complete with decorations, two cakes (of which one was Mickey Mouse's head), samosas and Biryani. I also happened to talk to the boy - sorry, ex-boy - for an hour and a half at least. International, mind you.

Met more relatives today, all dressed up in a full-sleeved salwar kameez. Re-lived the old days when everybody was together and so...young and full of adventure. Figured that i was the point where the Old City of Hyderabad meets the New City, and that i live both lives with almost equal ease.

Wished, prayed, beseeched God to change the rules of the game - that people should never grow old, because it's very heartbreaking.

Decided to come back to Hyderabad for at least 15 days again in the near future, renew long-forgotten family ties, capture the relatives for posterity in photographs, learn interesting stories from their lives and compile all of it into one big family book.

Yeah, i'm in that kinda mood. Especially after being given an hour of intelligent lecturing on marriage, where i could do nothing but keep uttering the Old City equivalent of 'Arrey!' because every word spoken made absolute sense.

I discover now, that just when i thought i knew where i was headed to, i lost my bearing.

And to top it all, i think i'm gonna be one tooth short soon. Thank you, Ice Cubes. This is what i get for loving you so much.

Happy Birthday to me.

I now own this:

Image Courtesy: Nikon
(http://imaging.nikon.com/products/imaging/lineup/digitalcamera/slr/d3000/index.htm)

Pyar Impossible.

Uday: I'm Abhay, I'm a Geek who worked on the same software program for seven years and then ended up being the nanny to my college crush's 6-year old anal daughter.

Priyanka: I'm the crush, and i'm a divorced working mother. In case you didn't get it already, i'm a divorced working mother. I don't believe that looks are important - even if i didn't know of ghastly-looking Uday's existence back in college, and didn't know of this little fact till he told me at the end of the movie. But i should be forgiven for it because i'm a divorced working mother.

Dino Morea: I'm Sidhu, Varun, Bastard, Thief - call me what you like. I stole the software program from Uday, and then i stole his crush who is now a divorced working mother. And now i'm going to steal all his... wait a minute,what's going on here???

Priyanka: Ha! I love Uday. I'm going to announce that to the whole Apple Store, and then i'm going to announce to the world on Live Television that you stole his software program from him!

Uday: I love you too Priyanka! The password to access the software is your movie name - which of course Dino doesn't know because he didn't make the software! Eat dirt, you... you... you dirtbag!

AND THEY TOOK 3 HOURS TO TORTURE US WITH THIS! IN SLOW-MO!

I'm ready for Hara Kiri now.

The Nicest Person She Knows.

So, a friend had an NID entrance exam this Saturday morning. Like good friends, A and i gave her moral support after a whole night of snoring away and not helping her with her revisions.

Because we didn't have anything better to do, we scouted around for a Cafe Coffee Day near the college where the exam was happening. Rajajinagar is alien land to me, so we entrusted the task of finding one close to the college to the autowallah. Luckily for us, we found a chap who humoured us as we took him through roads that even we didn't know existed. Having managed to locate one on Dr. Rajkumar Raste, we then set about staring at a couple of pre-university primates going at each other's mouths like french kissing was going out of fashion. No no, we're not like the moral police. A was just staring at them because she was irritated that they were getting it and not her. I was staring because i like making happy-to-experiment-with-sex kids uncomfortable like that.

Shows i'm rude and mean and just plain uncouth, no? Apparently not, because K - in her exam paper - answered the question "Who's the nicest person alive you know of?" with my name.

Yeah. I laughed too. And then i laughed some more because she quoted in her paper that i was the only person she knew without a mean bone in my body.

That evening, though, we went out to Cirrus and i discovered that there was reason why she wrote my name: while she usually, successfully, manages to emotionally blackmail me into doing things, now she also had an added advantage of making me do things i didn't want to by saying, "Ey ey, i wrote your name as the nicest person no?"

Talk about niceness getting you into trouble. Still, i'm the nicest person she knows. I think i can live with that lie guilt-free for a long, long time.

My Penultimate Trip for the Year - Delhi-Amritsar-Agra.

I couldn't get to post about my impending journey before i took it, but the good news is that the much awaited trip happened last week and was a great experience. Three places - Delhi, Amristar and Agra. Six days. Temperatures close to 1 degree. And loads and loads of places to see. I couldn't have asked for more. (Yes, i could have - a little bit o' heat wouldn't have killed anybody.)

I now thoroughly understand the divide that exists between North Indians and South Indians. That former breed of people i broadly categorise as uncouth, abrasive, uncivilised and with heavy chips on their shoulders about God-only-knows-what. More elaboration on this point in a separate post.

I also know now what beauty i'm missing out on when i don't travel to the North - the ruins that stand testimony to the roadmap of history are something else. The calm i felt there was quite unlike any i've felt elsewhere, it was almost like i was home. Here's where i went:

Red Fort, Delhi:
Massive, red and still partially occupied by the Indian Army. Had lunch at the Chai Ghar there, saw every nook and corner of the place.

Humayun's Tomb, Delhi:
The architectural ancestor of the Taj Mahal, the mausoleum is massive. The structure's all red with intricate Mogul motifs running on it in white. We hit the place just as the sun was setting, so managed to get some gorgeous shots.

Qutb Minar, Delhi:
The Minar itself is just one aspect of the property, surrounded by palaces, mosques, marketplaces and of course, the Ashoka Pillar.

My favourite among all ruins - despite the havoc wreaked by the weather and the emperors who came after, the place still manages to help the mind's eye fill in the gaps to remodel a semblance of it in its original form. Also remarkable was the fact that while the Qutb property is essentially Islamic, there are hints of Hindu temple architecture mixed in. We saw pillars that had Ganesha, dancing women - the kind that decorate the walls of Khajuraho - and temple bells carved in stone.

My guess is that the Mughal emperors brought them to their palaces and made them part of the architecture to remind them of their exploits and victories. Other, less cynical people like to believe it was a symbolic gesture towards religious co-existence/harmony. Ah, well.

India Gate, Delhi:
Commercial, crowded, Chinese. I'm telling you, Chinese were swarming the place! There's something about the inscription right on top that gives you the heebie-jeebies and roots you to the spot. When your eye finally manages to discover the names of the soldiers who lost their lives inscribed on the facade, you experience the chills all over again.

The Golden Temple, Amritsar:
Every place of religion has an aura of peace within it, and the Golden Temple's no different. A flotilla of gold in the middle of a placid lake brimming with gigantic fish, people start lining up for darshan as early as 3 in the morning. Apparently, the Sikhs have to volunteer at the Golden Temple once in their life, so everybody inside the four walls of the place (which stretch for miles together) - from those who serve the langar to the ones who stand guard at the Sikh Museum - are people with alternate jobs fulfilling their religious duties.

I would've loved to see the place lit up in the night, but it was freezing - about 1 degree - and there was no way i was ready to put myself through the torture.

Change of Guards, Wagah Border:
While the rest of the two nations are a stage for unbridled hostility, the Wagah Border that divides India and Pakistan is pretty peaceful. But then, us being Indians, we have to milk it for what it's worth. Hence, a well-dressed man with a mike and a booming voice who inspires the crowds to scream bloodcurdling Vande Maatarams, wave the Indian flag in a frenzy, hurl battle cries across the gates; who then calmly walks around to pockets of non-committals like us to say, "Don't you want your money's worth from this spectacle? Let me hear you scream now and add some masala to the occasion."

Bah.

If you manage to ignore him, though, the entire experience is quite emotional. I was close to tears initially, and then when the whole thing got carried too far i lost all sense of patriotism - the same soldiers walk up multiple times to the gate, have a face-off with the Pakistani soldiers and come back to loud cheering from the crowd. In all fairness to the Indian masala, the tears returned when the Indian and Pakistani flags crossed over and paused there for a few seconds before completing their journey down the poles and into the storeroom for safekeeping.

Also, it's a miracle the soldiers don't break their balls when they lift their legs that high and bring it thundering down to the ground.

Fatehpur Sikri, Agra:
Akbar's mark on time and by God, what a mark at that.

From the Buland Darwaza, a massive structure of 107-odd feet, inlaid with delicate Moghul motifs and now home to tons of honeycombs, to the brickwall behind which Anarkali was buried alive; from the beautiful palaces for Akbar's three wives - Hindu, Muslim and Christian respectively - to the Pacheesi game on the floor of the palace fort; from the Diwan-e-khaas that had Akbar sitting atop the flat surface of a pillar elaborately carved in Jewish, Moghul and Temple designs, to the carvings of Persian birds and animals - beheaded because Aurangzeb said so; the first Meena Bazaar to Akba'r sleeping chambers with an elevated bed and three separate entrances for three separate wives. There's a lot to see and absorb at Fatehpur Sikri. Turns out that the Diwan-e-khaas was where Akbar founded the Deen-e-Ilahi. Seems to me that he was the smarter of the kings for having combined all three religions into one - almost as if he had a sense of the communal turmoils of the future.

Respect, Akbar. Respect.

The Taj Mahal, Agra:
I liked it from far away. And i felt really sad for Mumtaz Mahal and Shah Jahan as the cameras went clickety-click-click over their graves despite repeated warnings from security that photography was not allowed inside. So sad, that i almost cried and beat up a tall guy with a really bright flashlight for a camera. And i just got reminded of why i hate Marwadis so much. And oh dear lord, NRIs. Wearing plastic over their shoes and walking around instead of just frigging removing their footwear and walking barefeet. Buggeroos.

So that's pretty much it. In the middle of all this running around, we managed to put a little, freeze our asses off, eat authentic desi food, catch our trains on (or just in) time, shop, meet friends, sleep, party and fight with strangers on the road.

My overall verdict? North India is a beautiful place full of secrets. North Indians are not.

Weekends are a sign of week end.

Enh, never mind. Don't try figuring the title out. My brain's on switch off mode since i put in my papers, so i type in the first thing that comes to my useless head.

I have kind of forgotten why i even started the post. But then, who ever remembers why we write posts anyway? Some write to talk about how wonderful their life is, or how sucky. Some to prove to the world that they are knowledgeable, some others to make the world believe that they are good critics, writers, lab rats, eccentrics... oh wait, i remember why i started this post.

I cooked over the weekend. Sabudana vadas and Baigan ka Bharta. Both, for the first time. And boy, did they turn out absolutely professional. Like, bang on. I think i must have inherited my culinary genes from my mother. Well, at least something to do her proud with.

In other news, i went for another wedding - a friend who was getting married a second time. Officially, that is. And then i went for a Christmas Turkey Dinner Party - met lots of new, interesting people, felt totally out of place and therefore was quiet most of the time. My eyes strayed to a huge world map on the wall and i was hooked. I put to test my new and improved geographical knowledge (Courtesy Geo Challenge on Facebook) by figuring out which place was where. Needless to say, my score was lesser than what i usually get on the game, but good enough to save face if somebody should suddenly ask me, "Hey, where's Croatia?"

Oh, i am also a proud owner of a brand new limited edition Billy Bookshelf. It looks like this:

Picture courtesy: www.lushlee.com

It's the one to the right, and it has Shakespeare's sonnets graffiti-d on it. All over. I was quite tempted by the Manga cartoons on the left, but being the literature junkie i am, Shakespeare was an obvious choice. (Although i would have loved some metaphysicals instead, but apparently at Ikea that's not Donne.) Classic BW won over bright red and candy green.

Oh lordy. My fingers tingle every time i see it. Can't hardly wait to set it up.

And and and and and! I'm gonna have my Nikon Digi-SLR by end of year! Yippee yoo hoo! It has been a fabulous year!

Getting married, getting smarter.

So the tradition of tying the knot hasn't changed, but i'm glad to see that as more and more people get married, they're getting more intelligent about the gifts they want. Cutlery and Gods will always be a classic, yes. What's fuddy duddy now are:
- Clocks (i remember counting 20 wall clocks for my aunt's wedding a decade or more ago, and then a dozen for my cousin's wedding a handful of years back, and now none at my friends' weddings!)
- Murals / wall hangings, the kind that show two people kissing, animals grazing on fields, horses, Krishna with his entourage of women, kids playing and etc.

What couples these days are opting for:
- Money: this one's always been there too, but always restricted only to people who don't know you so well. (That should explain why most envelopes only had 101 rupees in them.) These days, couples prefer money from everyone so they can do whatever they want with it. At H's wedding, he asked everyone to give him and bride O, money. They made quite a killing in the end and went on their honeymoon with it.

- Need-specific gifts: Latest case in point: S. Unofficially married four months back, she's going to fly out to Canada after her public wedding this Friday. She wanted us to buy her winterwear as her wedding gift. Then there's F - she's stalled most of her friends from buying gifts because she wants to settle down in Pune first, find a home and then get people to buy her stuff.

- Appliances: Best worked through pooling in, ideal as a group gift. Microwaves, laptops, refrigerators, ACs - you get the drift. (Pun unintended.)

- Indulgences: Self-awareness = treating oneself to spas, weekend getaways and therapy sessions to bust stress. So packages of the sort are always welcome by the getting married types. Even better if the validity period's for over two years - they have a ticket to bring dead romance back in their lives.

Then of course, are the Keeda gifts. Presented to tease, taunt, aid sex life, or plain just mess around with the bride and groom:
- When S got married, she got a book of erotic stories, pink underwear, a handy KS manual and more. (The guy i was seeing then suggested garden scissors as well because she was a feminist, but never mind that.)

- A friend's friend got a year's supply of condoms. All brands, all flavours, all sizes.

- Older couples - because they are getting old - present baby stuff! (Picture this: bride and groom standing on stage fresh out of wedding vows, unceremoniously dumped with a baby bag full of diapers, clothes, mits and blah blah. Even worse if it's an arranged marriage.)

So there we have it. Changing marital times calling for changing gifting patterns. It's a good thing the times are changing though. Somehow forms an extra incentive to be married. Love and all apart, that is.

It's been a good year.

Yep, it has. I know most people would disagree but i really enjoyed this year. Even when things got very heated up at work and i had the hardest time coping with a lot of things.

I met and bonded with quite a few new people, had a boyfriend (lost him too, but we've all heard that one before), took a vacation with parents after 10 (or is it more?) years, got a TVC out, attended a fair share of weddings, got drowned in credit card debts (no, this isn't one of the good things but we're listing out stuff here so weelax already!), attended the Oktoberfest, partied a lot, put a lot, sent a little, made a conscious decision to leave advertising for a while, had lots of pyjama parties, got my duplicate Voters ID and marks cards done, my DL's on its way, i learned to float on water, tried out Sushi,... the list is pretty exhaustive. I'm very happy. What i am happiest about, though, is that i travelled a lot this year. Work and pleasure trips. Tried to put together a list, and here's what it sounds like:
4 trips to Mumbai
7 or more trips to Chennai
1 trip to Mahabalipuram
1 trip to Kodaikanal
1 trip to Dandeli
1 trip to Pune
2 trips to Goa
1 trip to Hyderabad
1 trip to Pondicherry...
...and the year hasn't even come to an end! I'll have added 3 brand new places - ones that i have never been to in all my years on earth - to my list by the end of this month. And by God, am i looking forward to it!

Wowee. 3000 odd. Really?

Sitemeter shows i have had over 3000 visitors to my blog. Can't believe people could be that interested in the stuff i write.

Or maybe they just have nothing better to do.

Why she is my best friend.

On a guy who kinda broke my heart, but not really.

Me: hey
She: what?
Me: let me send you link to *beep beep beep*'s pics. (Name aliased for privacy reasons
She: ok
Me: (sending link)
She (immediately): pathetic
dude that can't be *beep beep beep*
is it?
the guy with the *beep* (describing a facial feature)
dude?!!!!!!!!!
Me: yeah
it is him
She: eeeeeeeuuuuuuuu
Me: :)
oh please
he's not so bad
She: he is so uncle type da
Me: he's quite good-looking
She: how the *beep* did you find this guy hot?!!!!!
what's wrong with you dude!?
Me: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
i find your reaction very funny
:))
She: horrible horrible...
i would've died if you were seeing him
Me: he's not bad
She: shut up
yeah actually you're right
he isn't bad
he is pathetic
OMG
i will kill you if you find someone like that for yourself
you get it?
Me: ha ha ha ha ha ha
alright alright calm down
She: stop laughing
i'm super serious
i don't believe this man
Me: CALM DOWN woman! I was not dating him!
She: ok
thank god for small mercies.
(Disclaimer: More controversial bits of the conversation have been deleted for fear of a lawsuit from the aforementioned guy or his better half.)

A post, slambook style.

Your weekend was: Fabulous. I went for the Freenigo wedding.
Your best memory of the wedding: Ini carrying Free in his arms as they got away from the crowd and skulked away behind the stage.
Your latest crush: L. Kind of.
Your most memorable achievement: I learned to float on water on Friday! Now, i only need practice.
Your favourite food: Seafood fried in oodles of butter and fine-sliced garlic. Long live Moon Rakers.
Your favourite tourist activity: Spending time on the beach.
You love: Taking candid pictures, and i took lots of those this weekend!
You hate: A vacation coming to an end.

Seen...

...on the back of an Omni last night:

"Jesus loves you

& India"

Call me Social Butterfly.

Last night, a bunch of friends went to Cirrus half hour before closing time. I think the place has turned into what Tavern once was for the advertising fraternity. It's where Bangalore's cooler, less lad-de-dah and more down-to-earth party people come to hang.

Somehow managing to get in despite there being no place for anymore people, i first bump into Baklava - a regular at Cirrus and a colleague from work. Hug hug, chat and move on to the outer section.

Next, it's the Higher Iyer and wifey. Hug hug, peck peck, chat and move on.

Bump! Resh calls me bitch on sight, accuses me of not going out partying with them everytime they call. H joins in and delivers the same dialogues. Big hug, huge grins all round, introductions to new people.

Move on, and i reach ze core group - the ones i had come to party with. Say my hellos, head to the bar for their refills and my starter bottle. On the way back, stop to flit between the rest of the people i had met.

Then i meet Kay Dee Cunting. Hug hug, catch up and move on again.

It was awesome. I haven't felt so important in a while. *Grin*.

And then of course the cops had to come and break it all up, hit some women and throw a tantrum. But well, this part of the story's for another time, another day.

Things i discovered about myself lately.

- I can handle relationships much better than i used to be able to a year/two years ago.
- I'm not an anal girlfriend. Or a nagging one, for that matter. It's the men i date who make me that. (Note to self: Change taste of preferred traits in the male species.)
- I'm a sucker for men in Checked prints.
- If i had been a full-time gamer, i would have been rolling in so much cash, i could have bought the world three times over.
- I enjoy House and Trance immensely.
- Those people i used to think didn't know of any other way to spend time than putting and sending? I've become one of them.
- I stil enjoy my food, but have cut down intake by at least half. It depresses me.
- I ignore most of my ailments thinking they'll go away on their own.
- The best way to increase my knowledge about things is to play games about them.
- I want nothing out of life.
- For all the strength of character i boast, i think i'll be devastated with any more deaths in the family.
- I'm most definitely going to hell.
- I have a heart partially carved out of stone.
- I'm actually scared of globe-trotting.

- I'm selfish.

- I'm not petrified of spiders any more.

I love Bangalore.

Perspectives, places, clouds and rain.

FROM THE TOP: View of LIC Building outside Hard Rock Cafe; Soaking in the Sun, Jagdish Nagar; Choco Chip Muffin at CCD; Rains near Chinnaswamy Stadium; Dawn at Cantonment Railway Station on the morning of F's departure; Leafy Reflections, Cubbon Road; Auto Dew, St. Mark's Road; Dog on Shutter, Shivajinagar; Lonely Hearts Club, Office Terrace, Richmond Town.

Ain't no sunshine when he's gone...

... but there is a glorious rainbow!

Mellllllllt...