I woke up feeling not-so-great because i had a not-so-great night. Then a dear friend truly and thoroughly pissed me off. I was bloody hungry. I ate food, but the feeling still didn't go away. I lay down, trying to force myself to catch 40 winks, but that didn't help either. Somewhere along the way, i had an extremely scary and claustrophobic vision of what i was going through. A vision of someone ripping through my brain and bashing their way through my skull and flying out. A vague shape, not human, not demon.
The feeling of irritation and restlessness and extreme aggression and disgust persisted through the day. I went out in the evening, had myself a good time. And then i screwed up. Royally.
If there's anybody that must be blamed for the state i am in and bear the burden of what the state of my life is today, it's me. I'm my own demon, my own slayer, my own enemy.
I just want to reach a comatose state and fall asleep. To not be able to hit the pillow and sleep immediately is going to be pure agony today. And i don't want it. Not tonight.
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