I get onto Groove shark and a song comes on. The song that started it all.
It takes me a long way back. Takes me back to me sitting on a bed, you trying to put me in a better mood after an episode with a friend - how you had come searching for me then, wanting to make that episode go away! This song playing on TV - the first time I heard it, saw it.
And as I listen to the song now, my insides are pulled by a force far, far away - as if from a parallel universe - and I have this intense desire to go back to that time. Go back to before it all started. Because that time was good. It was uncomplicated. It had only anticipation, no expectation. No discomfort, pain, grief, sadness. No bitterness.
And then I think, will you be able to unlearn everything about me and go back to seeing me like you're meeting me for the first time? As someone you may be interested in - you don't know, but you'd like to find out?
Will you be able to do that?
It takes me a long way back. Takes me back to me sitting on a bed, you trying to put me in a better mood after an episode with a friend - how you had come searching for me then, wanting to make that episode go away! This song playing on TV - the first time I heard it, saw it.
And as I listen to the song now, my insides are pulled by a force far, far away - as if from a parallel universe - and I have this intense desire to go back to that time. Go back to before it all started. Because that time was good. It was uncomplicated. It had only anticipation, no expectation. No discomfort, pain, grief, sadness. No bitterness.
And then I think, will you be able to unlearn everything about me and go back to seeing me like you're meeting me for the first time? As someone you may be interested in - you don't know, but you'd like to find out?
Will you be able to do that?
2 comments:
The poignant third and fourth paragraphs of your post remind me of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzbO1mjFPOM
The song eventually ends with:
Taa'ruf rog hojaye to usko bhoolna behtar
Taa'lluq boj banjaye to usko todna accha
Woh afsaana jise anjaam tak laana na ho mumkin, use ek khoobsoorat mod dekar, chodna accha
Although I don't know you other than this blog, I hope that you are able to come out of this difficult phase of your life soon.
~JB
Thank you, JB. I hope so too. You'll know when I do, it'll be out here. :)
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