Bahuth ho gaya, maaki.

Enough. Ugh. I look at all the sop i've typed in the last two days in moments of weakness, and i cringe. Not so much because it lays my life's situation bare, but because it feels... icky. Yeah. I've been ranting and raving and weeping and wallowing like Tulsi's family after her second (or is it third) reincarnation. Enough, bhen ke ******. If i continue this way, i'll be Flubber without the happiness factor. Actually, i'll be like the Amoeba Boys from PowerPuff.

I feel a lot better today. The weekend seems like a slice of my life from a world tucked away quietly in a predominantly-active part of my mind. It's a Pandora's Box that i will open sometime, but not in the near future. So i miss it. So what? Bloody hell, there isn't much i can do about it except wish someone dead, which won't do much good anyway because then i would die of guilt. Wallowing yes, and that can become a very comfortable state of being too, but what the heck, i want to have fun! I want to live life and take this as the 'Those were the best days of my life' and then continue flirting and shopping and bonding and dancing. Dancing, yeah! I can't begin to tell you about the relief i felt when i got a call from K about classes starting yesterday. I had something to do! And what better than dance! My mind would stay occupied now! (Every Monday and Wednesday evening at least.)

Then there's work. Of course there's work. It's stressing me out, there are some choices i need to make on that front too, but they can wait. Meanwhile, i'm cracking up, laughing, having a good time, not thinking about what has happened. P was right, pain gets easier to handle if you don't think too much about it. (That's one of the things i learnt from you P. Huggg.) Maybe the fact that this is not something i'll get over - this is something that will stay eternally fresh in my mind like fragrant bread straight out of the oven - has also made it easier for me to not stop and mope about.

Thanks B, for pointing out on chat fifteen minutes ago that i was going fully melodramatic. WTF, these things happen. I loved this thing happening to me. Maybe this same thing will happen to me again (hopefully with the same person). And that's what i look forward to. Life is good. Yay!