Life. Explained through...

English.
What i judge most men by. Superficial, but i discovered to my chagrin that it's true. Oh, and i forgot to mention other checks - like whether they're wearing socks or have long eye lashes (no, i'm not gauging length).

Hindi.
B***** ke, M****c***, B***c***, L****, Maaki...

Kannada.
Gets you around among the middle and lower strata like money does in the upper one.

Physics.
Gravity. The reason why fat accumulates so (motioning towards the anatomical section) on my hips. The lard that can't slide down below the hip mark gets deposited in layers till it reaches the top-most level, nicknamed 'The Pamela Anderson Stage'.

Chemistry.
It takes a touch to set off fireworks. Not to mention alarms ringing in your head.

Mathematics.
2000 + 350 would be...umm... yep, it would be just about enough money to spend in one shopping day.

Biology.
"Mmm. Nice ass that man's got."
OR if you had to get all hair-splitting, then:
Botany.
Why the fuck hasn't anybody sent me flowers till now??? I mean, i'm a passably nice person.
Zoology.
Eeeeew, Mister Automan, tuck Junior away and pay attention to the road instead.

Social Studies.
The broken marriages around me.
OR if you had to get all hair-splitting here too:
Civics.
Mob Rule - why R and B and C got hit by autowallahs while trying to protect P.
Economics.
The priciness of autowallahs pampered by North Indians who've infiltrated Bangalore through software MNCs, and who find everything to be cheaper than their goddarn cities, so are willing to shell out as much as anybody wants. Hmph.
Geography.
All that's left is right, all that's right has left.