Why do wounds hurt more, tears gush freely and the heart feel heavier? The defenses are up through the day, but as night falls, they start stripping themselves of their strength to fight and lay themselves open to the onslaught of all the negative thoughts one tries so hard to keep out.
I predicted this year to be a year of big changes. One big change is in the pipeline already, and from where i am, it isn't a very pleasant one. As for the other, well, mere days after a great start to the year, things started going downhill. I am the cause for my own stupidity, i am my own enemy. Assumptions and impatience seem to have ruined things to such a great extent that the hope of going back to how things were appears to be bleak. Neither of these things is good news.
And so my heart is heavier than each step i take. My brain is begging to go into hybernation, soothe itself with a little denial and some delusion. I don't like where i am right now. I will fight it, but i don't like it. And just for that, i'll fight harder.
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