Silence while the Brandy+Hot water+Honey speaks!

I'm back from a fun night with a whole bunch of people i have never quite hung out with before - including someone i cannot stand at all. (I have imagined a conversation in my head: if somebody tells me that she's good fun and i should hang out with her more often, i will turn around and tell them that i will hang out with her when she and i stop being professionally attached. Until then, i will hate her.) I went out with a bunch from office to Monkey Bar. Chilled out. Nice place. Decent crowd. Actually, ogle-able crowd. Yumm food. I must go out more often!It's been a day of... well, a weird kinda day. I made a friend at work thinking that i needed new friends, and the times that we hang out, i'm mostly silent. Conversation is slightly superficial. I have nothing to say. I don't know what's wrong.
Is it weird that i'm posting at... 1:35 a.m in the morning? See, my laptop was on Sleep mode and i had to switch it off before i went to sleep so i thought i'd log in and check mail and stuff and this just happened because there's a lot i'm holding back today and i don't want to hold it in any more.

I've been extremely angry since yesterday. I want to give a lot of people a piece of my mind because their attitude is pissing me off big time. Sometimes i wonder why i even bother with them. But then i realise that they're friends, and that when i make people my friends, they automatically win the right to trample over me. I guess they forget to read the little clause next to the asterisk that says, "Ocassionally, you shall get as good as you receive". But then i get down to wondering if it's my thought process that's skewed and that they might actually be in the right and i in the wrong. And then i get confused and don't think about it any more.
Riding helps rid me of my anger. I zip on the roads and zag through traffic, and it's a cathartic feeling. Today, as i was riding to physio (yeah, major health issues, don't even get me started), going at 70 on M.G.Road, only one thought was on replay in my mind: I hope i hit a vehicle and get distracted enough to stop feeling so angry. And every time, this thought was followed by a vehement NO. I didn't really want to hit anybody. All i wanted to do was scream. Loud enough to get people within a mile to wobble on their two wheelers. Get all that anger out of my system. Anger that people judged and assumed and lied and were apparently being thoughtful for me when actually, they were worried about themselves and their association with me. But it didn't happen. I just couldn't scream. So i kept on riding. I'm unscarred, physically at least. It's like Udupi Krishna (a guy i used to bully in jest a lot at my first workplace) used to say: "One day, this volcano will burst. And then you will see."

I like the high Brandy gives me. It doesn't create a fog in my head and place my brain right in the middle of it. In fact, my head's fine. My body, on the other hand, is showing signs of tipsy-ness.

I discovered Bonobo today. And this particular song of theirs triggered a story in my head. Difficult love, surviving the odds like a first time-lucky Poker player. The man on a bicycle, the woman in a bus. Their so-common-but-so-uniquely-theirs love story. Their happy ending - in the back of an open lorry; wind rushing through their hair, content smiles on their faces made bigger by the force of the air trying to peel the skin off their faces as it whizzes past - like everything they need to live a good life has taken the form of the other person; lusty green trees on either side; blue skies above, tarred road behind, tarred road ahead, disappearing into the horizon; travelling, travelling... getting away...

Today, secrets were revealed to the family in passing.

Yesterday was a scarring family evening.

And we're all stories waiting for our happily ever afters.