The heart is heavy...

...but the guns must be stuck to.

I'm normal about all this. Way too normal. So normal that it's freaking me out. A little. It's like A said to me once back in college when T told me over the phone that i would find someone better: "Nabi, you're sure you're okay? I mean, you're not crying, you're not sad, you're...you're laughing about it! Please don't do something stupid, promise you won't commit suicide!"

So no, suicide is most definitely not on the cards. It's for people who cannot make it through the worst meltdown of their lives. I've had mini-meltdowns in the past, but not enough to warranty doing it. Except maybe once, when i was very, very, very close to it but it didn't...Okay the point is, my normalcy is worrying me a bit. Just a bit.

But on the flipside, worrying about being normal when you really shouldn't have been, knowing that you are who you are, is a good sign. Because it means you're grown up and all Mature and can take things in your stride and all that. Right?

Oh well. This isn't going to be the first time that my resilience will be surprising me.