All sand, no ***.

So i went to The Beach last night. For the first time. Nice ambience - sand under your feet, a little artificial lagoon, seats made from coconut tree stubs, the works. U2, Sting and others strumming slow numbers, and i asked myself: What the heck am i doing out here with women?? I should be out with a man! I hate the DJ, he just kept on with those crooning voices.

Some would say i'm a bundle of contradictions, that i say i want a man and then i say no, i don't. Actually, i don't have a problem with men. Just with what they do when they are in my life - my focus is on them, i go out and see something nice and pick it up for them, i crib and cry that they don't call me, they don't love me any more blah blah blah. And i don't have a problem with commitment, just marriage - risky business, that.

My friend told me almost a year back that if i didn't find a guy by 24, i should begin to worry. Boy, i should be rolling on the floor right now, with spasm after spasm hitting me, panic stricken because of not finding a guy yet. But no, i choose to go out with friends when i can and then sit there and go all bleary-eyed as the women around me talk about "Oooooo my boyfriend" and "Mmmmm last night". Give me a break.

So now i fret endlessly every day wondering where the heck my man is. Alright, where the heck all the nice men are.

The day before i went out with my parents and saw one, one, in a crowd of thousands of men who looked yum. I've seen such a specimen of perfection - attitude-wise - only once before in my life, and that was nine years ago. Call it desperation if you want, but i couldn't stop looking at him despite sitting next to my mom and in front of my dad. When i mentioned this to my friend from office yesterday, specifying the time that had lapsed since i last saw someone like that, she had one remarkable thing to say:

"You know, there's only one place i've seen the most good-looking men."

All eyes and ears, i waited eagerly for her to continue.

"At the departure terminal in the airport."

Oh well, that explains it.

I think it's time to get my passport made.