It's hardly three months into this year, and i've already made several trips to visit doctors and get check-ups done. I'm tired of them. I don't want to go no more.
My last visit was to the Gynaec yesterday. I checked my weight. I'm 80 kilos.
WTF???? What gives? When the hell did i hit 80?? It's the most i have weighed in my entire life and it feels horrible! I want to crawl under a rock and stay there for eternity, but i'm worried that the rock will be too small for me size. Freaking frack. I'm this close to depression. Like i don't have the whole SM thing worrying the shit out of me, my health also has to go completely out of control. But i also realise that there's no point feeling miserable and not doing anything about it. I've got to begin some serious exercising and diet control.
Auuuuuugh! I hate it i hate it i hate it i hate hate hate hate hate it! I hate myself for letting go like this. It's not done. It's just NOT DONE.
I don't want to look the way i look, feel the way i look, or visit the doctors any more. I'm through with this nonsense.
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