To Salman Khan with love.

Dear Salman,

The next time you decide to shoot black bucks, take this piece of advice: visit Nagarhole and kill the deer instead.

No, no, i'm not trying to play devil's advocate here! If you hear me out, chances are you will feel the same about it when i finish.

The thing is this, Salman. We went to Coorg in August, my friends and I. And we chose to take the Nagarhole route because we thought we would get lucky and perhaps see a lion roar us senseless. So we entered the gates of Nagarhole in great excitement, fingers crossed and baited breath. A little into the forest, we thought we saw something big and golden move but we couldn't be sure, when suddenly as the car ambled on we came upon a family of golden sunshiny deer! Beautiful creatures, them. Sigh. It was an absolutely pleasant sight. Their black spots shining in the sun, their coats glistening with good health and natural, un-organic-rendered grass, they ate in all their glory. We went berserk taking pictures. The younger ones got scared and scooted, and poor Mommy deer had to drop her poses and scoot after the young ones lest they get eaten up by the carnivores. The Papa deer, though, stayed on and continued posing for us.

So excited we were, Salman, that we thought we would never see such a magnificent sight in our lives ever again!

But we were wrong. We saw the same again. And again. And again and again and again till we got sick of the bloody deer.

They were all over the place! In front of houses, crossing the road, insolently munching on grass everywhere! Even when they weren't around, i was seeing them, there were so many! It made me wonder if the carnivores had converted to vegetarianism. How else would one explain the abundance of these creatures, unless you're telling me they're far cousins of rabbits and therefore breed like crazy?

On the way back from Coorg as well, we saw hordes of them. I don't know about the others, but i wanted to shoot them right there! Then i thought, why not get somebody who's already an expert at shooting?

And so, Salman, i am appealing to you. Please do something about these...these...these pests. If you need help, just call. I know somebody who knows somebody who works in the forest department. (It can all be arranged.) For all you know, even the authorities won't arrest you because they must be sick of the deer too.

With all due respect,

Nabila.