Finally, it happens.

Know how dangerous it is to be the only single person in a group of closely-knit, married friends? No? Let me tell you then.

S called me yesterday, marvelling at the fact that i had actually taken her call. So i told her that i took it only to tell her that i would call back later. Which i did today. (Yeah, sometimes i think i must have been a man in my last incarnation, if any, because for them later is like three days later or so and not later the same day.)

The conversation started pretty smoothly, me asking her what she was upto, how the kids were doing and blah blah. I can't even remember when we took a turn into that dreaded road, the one that leads to the altar. That's when she started off.

"You know, i actually called you for a purpose yesterday. I was sitting around, thinking that i would be 26 next year and it struck me that, hell, you'll be 26 too. And that's OLD. I think you should start thinking about marriage." (Note be, it only weakened my case a lot more when i told her earlier on that THE breakup happened almost eight months ago.)

Traitor. Just because she's happily married.

"I mean, really Nabila. By the time you turn 27, you won't be able to catch any nice men at all. After that it will be very difficult you know. There won't be any nice men. I mean, yes, there are no nice men, no perfect men also ("except for my husband", she says, slipping it in just so i can barely register it, but i do, and kick her butt on it), but you need somebody to get back home to, who will stand by you at all times. You're not intending to stay single, are you?"

At my response that, yes, i was planning on staying single, the domesticated cow in the body of the feminist broke through with an ear-piercing cry: "Whaaaaat? Ey, don't be stupid! You know, i keep thinking about you and how you're not married? And when i can't get you on the phone i chew T's (her husband's) brains. If you don't listen to me, i'll get him to talk to you."

At which point, i am beyond panic-stricken. I am torn between laughing and taking her seriously, but in need of some urgent rescue.

Enter Google Talk. Peekay is online, so i send out SMS (short for Save My Soul).
nabila: oh nooooooooooooo!
call s***! do something! the marriage brigade is getting unleashed on me!
she's on my back to get married!

No response.

nabila: peekay!
PEEEEEEEEEEEEKAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!
WHERE ARE YOU??????

p.k: brb
client call

Just my luck. But anyway, Peekay comes to the rescue, calling S just as she is settling down into a cushy list of the merits of marriage. Quickly she cuts my call to take Peekay's.

Dammit. Now i'll have to add her, along with my entire family - extended or not - to the list of people i have to hold the cross against. Or better still, sprinkle some aab-e-zamzam on. Sheesh.