A penny for my thoughts.

I could do with a few. I'm quite broke.

For sex maniacs out there, i can think a sex-related thought every six seconds. But i doubt if i'll get more than a shag of the wag if i do. They're all broke losers looking for a freef***.

For the awardophiles, i can think of award ideas. I definitely will get more than a penny, but most of it will go for taxes. Which will then leave me with a penny. And an award that i can sell at the pawn shop for more pennies. Yay!

For the depressed, i (sad) can (kill myself) think (hate my life) depressing (bleaagh) thoughts (nobody loves me) at (if you're here, God, prove it) the (i need love) snap (i'm a failure) of (everyone's having fun, everyone but me) my (i want to shrivel up and die) fingers (si...igh).

For the pious, i can think good, clean thoughts. Downside is, i might either be converted or slaughtered for religion.

For my parents, i will think the 'M' word thoughts. Then they'll give me many pennies. In the form of dowry.

For the men in my life, i will think grateful thoughts. Maybe then they'll come back into my life and stay with me forever and not leave me begging for pennies and buy me everything i need instead.

For the terrorists, i will think violent thoughts. That way, i'll become a supplier of arson, get rich, mingle with the underground, grow a big moustache (which is in the process of growing anyway thanks to my infrequent visits to the parlour), be called "Maamu" or "Bhai" and get my driving license and passport without hassle.

For life, i will think, "F*** you b****". And remain hopeful for a penny till i die.

(Pliss bare, I yam fee ling very sick today. Balle Balle.)