I turned my room upside down, inside out last evening in search of my degree et al certificates, and found a couple of things from a phase of life that has never actually left me. It got me thinking yesterday, for the first time ever - how did i manage to do something like that? Where did the courage to do those things i did all those years ago, come from? And as always, i wanted to find out what he'd thought i was like then, what sort of an impression of me had i left with him. So i got to office today and shot out a mail to him.
Like that wasn't enough, i had an urge to call him. So i did. And his wife picked up. And it was awkward, not so much because well...it was a woman calling, but because it was a strange woman. Strange, since he didn't have my number stored on his phone!! I don't even know if the phone belongs to him or his wife!
He came on the line (i heard whispers in the background, something like him groaning at the thought of having to talk to me) and i could hear the place echoing, and a bit of traffic. So he comes online and says, "Hey i'm in traffic. Can i call you in some time on this number?" Oh God, it was so awkward. So, so, so awkward. I feel like the earth should split and i should get swallowed right now. I'm thinking his lie was fairly obvious, thanks to the echoes and the pause during which his wife communictaed to him, his voice replying in the distance. I'm taking it that he doesn't want to talk.
I feel miserable. More like, ashamed. I think i have this sado-masochistic streak in me that makes me do these things.
(I generously copied this from a friend's blog. It is exactly what i feel like right now.)
No comments:
Post a Comment